I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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