Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
