Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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