Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
