period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
