Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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