This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize