Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
