I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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