from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
