Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
