i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize