just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
