All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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