Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
