i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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