just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
