my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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