garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
