I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
