If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize