...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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