The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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