the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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