She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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