Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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