i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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