I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize