your parents love me but you hate me
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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