So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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