Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
