We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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