if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
pray to the hookup gods
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
