So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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