still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
