Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
