Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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