Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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