he was CRYING into my vagina
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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