he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize