I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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