I must be too annoying 4 u.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
