I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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