in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
