capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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