She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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