is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
