Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
