The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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