I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
