im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
