Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
