Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
