Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
