we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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