So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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