i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
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I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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