Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
