Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
