well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
