It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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