they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
